Sunday 19 October 2014

35. Listen to Heart – A Friend is a Friend….

Hari Bol....

35. Listen to Heart – A Friend is a Friend….


I remember on one of the Mother’s day some asked me to define Mother. I was thinking and was without any answer for some time. I was fused with the question. I was trying to give him answer in different ways but I was personally not getting satisfaction. Finally I said, “Mother is mother. Ma is Ma. For me she is my strength and she is my weakness”.


A similar situation was in front of me on one of the Friendship day. I was again puzzled and was without in proper answer. I was again trying to give answer in different ways but I was personally not convinced. Finally I said, “A Friend is Friend. She/he is my strength and she/he is my weakness”.


Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such as sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier. Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of friendship. Such characteristics include affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests, and have similar demographics. According to me Ma is the best example of a friend and the relationship with Ma is the best example of friendship relation.

We as human beings need society. Humans beings loves to make friends. In fact even animals make friends. We make some friend during our childhood. We play together and love to stay together. At this time our heart and mind is pure. We do not know the bitter facts of life as we learn as we grow like different casts, different religion, rich and poor, girl and boy and so on. During our school days we make friends. The life journey moves on to college and there also the friends are added. We start our professional life and the list becomes longer and this way the life journey goes on and similarly the list of the friends also become longer and longer.


So many social networks are there where we make friends. We are able to search for our old friends. Through this we are in touch with each other. We share are old memories to get refreshed. We chat together and so on…. One of the very commonly used networks is Facebook where we attached this with mind and heart. As I have said it tough to define a friend so I would like to share stories of great friends.


Sudama and Krishna were childhood friends. They first met at the ashram of Guru Sandipani. After few years, the boys completed their studies and went apart. Krishna married Rukmini and ruled Dwaraka. Sudama, in the meantime, married a poor Brahman girl. Sudama led a life of poverty as he was not attached to any worldly possessions. His wife was too good who as well did not crave for luxuries. Soon, children were born to Sudama and his wife. As the children grew older, they began to ask their parents for better food and the comforts of life. Sudama's wife could not bear to see them hungry. One day, she said to Sudama hesitantly, "My lord, you could ask Krishna for help, for isn't he rich and powerful?" But Sudama was not comfortable in seeking help from his friend. But his wife insisted for the sake of the children. Sudama agreed to see his friend but told that he would not ask his friend for anything. Sudama's wife borrowed some poha from a neighbor and wrapped it in a clean rag and gave it to Sudama. Later, he left for Dwaraka. Krishna was overjoyed after seeing Sudama. He made him sit down and washed his feet. Rukmini fanned him gently. Sudama was overwhelmed by the love that Krishna showered on him. He hesitated to give Krishna the poha thinking it was a little gift to someone like him. But Krishna read his mind and snatched it from his hand. "Poha, my favorite dish" said Krishna and ate a handful greedily. Before, he could take a second handful; Rukmini stopped him saying "One mouthful will give him all that he needs, my Lord".  Being the goddess of wealth, she was responsible for its distribution. Next morning, Sudama left Dwaraka. His heart was full, though he did not ask for anything from Krishna. As he approached his house, he saw a grand mansion. His wife and children came out of it wearing jewels and fine clothes. Then he understood Rukmini's words.
Moral: True friendship is a blessing

 


I would like to share an article of the lecture given by Srila Prabhupada in as is condition for better understanding which I read by courtesy of www.krishna.com. Srila Pabhupada was answering a question raised by devotees - If Radha and Krishna aren't married, why do we worship Them together, like Sita-Rama? Srila Prabhupada is very careful that we understand the relationship between Radha and Krishna very carefully; it's not like some mundane love affair between a young boy and young girl. There are several ways to look at it, but first we must understand this point.

". . .the love between Radha and Krishna is called parakiya. They're not married as husband and wife. Radharani appears to be the wife of someone else, but Radha and Krishna were friends from childhood. Radharani could never forget Krishna. She used to come to Krishna and stand before Him. And He was playing. They were Kishora-Kishori - boy and girl - but without inebriety.  Here, the boy and girls mix, and there are so many abominable, distressful things, which increase their material bondage. But between Radha and Krishna the friendship between boy and girl is there without inebriety. Krishna had so many gopis (cowherd maidens) as His girlfriends, but there were no contraceptive pills. That is the beauty. Here, the so-called love is lust. There (in the spiritual world), that (lust) is the highest. Here, the same thing has become its perverted reflection. Just like in a reflection of an original tree on the water, the topmost part appears to be the lowest.”

"Similarly, in the spiritual world, the highest, top most level of love is parakiya. Parakiya means love - not by marriage, but by friendship. There, it is pure. There's no inebriety. "Perverted" means the topmost thing has become the lowest. Here (in the material world), parakiya, loving another's wife or husband, is most abominable; it is adultery."

On the other hand, there's another story: When Krishna was a small child, Radharani was asked to accompany Him home. In Their childhood forms, Radha and Krishna were walking together in Bandiravan. They stopped to rest under a banyan tree, and, by Radha Krishna mystic potency, Radha Krishna manifested youthful forms. Lord Brahma was asked to be the priest for the wedding and guests arrived. Lord Brahma performed the marriage ceremony, with all the demigods in attendance. During the wedding ceremony, Radharani’s sari was tied to Krishna’s dhoti, as is the custom in Vedic weddings. When the ceremony was over and the guests had left, Radha Krishna assumed their childhood forms again. Radha gave Krishna to Mother Yashoda and then walked home. In this way it is accepted that Radha and Krishna are actually married. However, in order to make their pastimes more relishable, Radha is "so-called" married to Abhimanyu. The intrigue of ‘Them’ (Radha and Krishna) meeting in secret and planning and plotting against Jatila and Kutila always makes ‘Their’ pastimes more relish-able.

On still another level; Krishna is actually the only male (purusha - "enjoyer"), and everyone else is prakriti or female. So, Krishna is actually everyone's pati ("husband"), but especially He is every woman's husband. In fact, anyone who's married to anyone except Krishna is committing adultery!


Another example of friendship I would like to share is the friendship of Karna and Duryodhana. This friendship is considered to be a great one, and is used as an example of friendship and loyalty and trust between friends even in modern times.

Duryodhana's wife Bhanumathi and his close friend Karna were playing a game of dice. The stake between them was substantial. As the game progressed, it was evident that Karna was winning and Bhanumathi was losing. Karna could not suppress his delight. Just then Duryodhana entered his queen's chamber. Karna had his back to the door while Bhanumathi was facing it. Seeing her husband coming, she was about to stand up. As she was just rising, Karna, thinking that she was trying to get away from the embarrassment of certain defeat in the game, snatched at her drape, studded with pearls.

Tugged at by Karna's powerful hands, the thread snapped and all the pearls rolled on the floor. Queen Bhanumathi was stunned and did not know what to say or do. She was afraid that, for no fault of hers, she would be misunderstood by her husband because of Karna's offensive and insensitive behavior. Seeing her shocked state and sensing that something was wrong, Karna turned round and saw his friend Duryodhana. He was also deeply shocked and distressed beyond words. Here he was, in the royal chamber, playing a game of dice with his friend's wife and, as if this was not enough, he had the audacity to catch her clothes, thus embarrassing and endangering her chaste reputation. He stood dumbfounded and transfixed. Surely, Duryodhana would not tolerate such immodesty. He readied himself for the inevitable punishment.

As both she and Karna look down sheepishly, unable to meet Duryodhana's eyes, the Kaurava scion only asks; "Should I just collect the beads, or string them as well."

Both Bhanumathi and Karna had misjudged him. He had implicit faith and great love for his queen and greater was his faith on his friend Karna. He does not suspect, does not get angry with Karna but helps him in picking up the pearls.

He seems to not care about the low birth of Karna and is the only one to vocally support Karna candidature in the archery contest without caring about caste inequality. When Kripa humiliated Karna in the martial exhibition, Duryodhana immediately defended Karna, and made him king of Anga. Karna pledges his allegiance and friendship to Duryodhana, as Duryodhana had rescued him from a source of continuing humiliation and hardship. Neither of them knows that Karna is in fact Kunti's oldest son, born to (sun god) Surya. When Draupadi refuses to allow Karna to string the bod at her Swayamvara because of his low birth, Duryodhana defends him saying "great sages, philosophers, and warriors have no source. They are made great, not born great".

I am going to share a story of Arjuna and Krishna which might be known to all. Lord Krishna and Arjuna were walking down a lane leading to a beautiful wood. While walking Lord Krishna looked upon the sky and saw a bird flying. It was very beautiful; He immediately pricked Arjuna and said “look arjuna, how beautiful the bird is!” Arjuna replied, “Yes my Lord, It’s indeed a beautiful bird”. Krishna observed for a while and said “I wonder what bird is it! May be its white stork, am I right Arjuna, what do you think?” Arjuna without a second glance on the bird immediately replied “yes my Lord it’s a white stork, you are right”. Lord Krishna thought for a while and remarked “It can’t be a white stork as I can see its real color, probably due to the clouds it looked white, but now i can see its pinkish white, may be its a flamingo, see for yourself Arjuna”. Arjuna without a second glance on the bird immediately replied “yes my Lord you are right, it is pinkish white and it’s a flamingo”. Lord Krishna did this trick a few more times and each time he denied what he earlier said of the bird. He would sometimes say its green, its blue and every time Arjuna agreed to Lord Krishna. Lord Krishna again remarked, “No Arjuna, we both are wrong, its neither white nor pink, nor it is of any other color. I can now see clearly its brown and it’s a giant Eagle. Look for yourself Arjuna and see whether I am right”. Arjuna without a second glance on the bird immediately replied “yes my Lord you are right, the bird is brown in color and it’s a giant eagle”. This made Lord Krishna stop and He immediately playfully rebuked Arjuna, “I see you are mocking me, whatever I say you agree upon. Don’t you have your own judgments and can’t you use your senses, your mind and your intelligence in determining what bird it is? Why are you always agreeing upon what I say? I see you are making fun of me”.

Arjuna trying to hide a smile replied to Lord Krishna, “My Lord, why do you put me to such tests. I tell you one thing, even if you declare that it’s not a bird at all but some kind of Vimana (air craft) or say that it’s something else, still i will agree upon your words. For my Lord, who can be greater authority than You. You are the Supreme Lord, the creator, the father, mother and grandsire. You are the only enjoyer and the supreme Lord and supreme friend of every living entity. Who can be greater than You my Lord.” Krishna was amused by the reply!

Arjuna further said, “My Lord, I didn’t even see the bird but just agreed upon your words. For my Lord how much time will it take you to change the bird from a stork to flamingo, from a swan to giant eagle, or how much time will it take you Lord to make the bird into a vimana. It’s all yours Maya. Everything is resting upon you as pearls are resting on the thread of a necklace. Oh Krishna, I totally accept whatever you tell me my Lord. Neither the hosts of demigods nor the demons can fully understand you, nor comprehend you. My Lord my beloved, how can I disagree with my Lord my God, Oh Krishna? Lord Krishna gave a cute smile and put His hands upon Arjuna’s shoulder and the two friends walked away.
 

Arjuna realized that he was confused and needed help from his master who was his friend. The best person to discuss about one’s problem is always a friend. A friend can discuss with his friend anything, anytime, anywhere and ask for his help and guidance. If your friend is your master also, then one cannot get any better option than this. Arjuna was lucky to have Krishna as his friend and master also, so Arjuna surrendered himself to Krishna and asked for his help to show him the right path of action. Krishna was waiting for this moment when Arjuna would surrender to Krishna. So Krishna was smiling to see his friend to a state of mind when Arjuna would be in state of mind to open up for receiving the right instruction from Krishna. Arjuna was happy to ask for help from his friend Krishna and Krishna was also happy to help his friend Arjuna.



All Glories to Lord Krishna & All His Loving Devotees….. Hari Bol……
Courtesy: Bhagavad-Gita As It Is (by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada ) , Srimad Bhagavad-Gita ( by A. Parthasarathy  & www.gitadaily.com ) Chapter 2 : Text 10 , www.google.com, Wikipedia. www.krishna.com, www.brahmacarya.info, www.krishna.org

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