Saturday 27 September 2014

31. Listen to Heart – Self-Center is Hindrance in Self-Realization…..

Hari Bol....

31. Listen to Heart – Self-Center is Hindrance in Self-Realization…..


A person who is self-centered is limited to; or caring only about himself and his own needs. They are engrossed in themselves and one's own affairs. They are selfish by nature. They are egoistic people who are devoted to his own interests and advancement. Egocentric people hold the view that the ego is the center, object, and norm of all experience. They are confined in attitude and interest to their own needs or affairs. They only care about themselves. They view or perceive from their own mind as a center. They take their own self as the starting point in a philosophical system. They regard themselves as the center of all things. They have little or no regard for interests or feelings other than themselves.


Selfish has a worse connotation. Self-centered can be merely eccentric... but selfish seems to signify evil. One could be self-centered yet not morally bereft of compassion and generosity. Similarly, a self-centered person might want to further to his or her objectives, whether or not that meant behaving selfishly in any given situation. A selfish person has a strong bias toward not giving anything - time, money, effort, energy, or other support to anyone other than him or herself. And that seems much more unpleasant than the alternative. A self-centered person would be inclined toward selfish behavior, but not necessarily so. Being self-centered implies finding oneself more fascinating than anything else. But it doesn't necessarily cause such a person to behave in the stingy, venal way associated with selfishness. A self-centered person always keeps his opinion on top of others' opinions. Selfish (of a person, action, or motive) means lacking consideration for others, and/or is concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure. A self-centered means being preoccupied with oneself and one's affairs.


Another way of looking at it is as follows: A self-centered person sees only himself as the center of everything and does not consider what his actions would mean to others. For e.g. blind people are quite independent and do not really want help from others, unless they ask for it. A self-centered person would reach out to a blind person, catch his hand and help him across the road, not really bothering to find out if that person wanted help in the first place. Only his actions count, he wants the world to think the best of him. He is not bothered about the feelings of the blind man. A selfish person would not bother to help the blind man in the first place. If he must, it is conditional (whether he has time, is not too inconvenienced, etc.). A selfish person wants to receive more than they give. They will happily give if they think that their return will be larger than their investment. A self-centered person wants to be the focus of attention. All eyes must be on them no matter what they're doing, selfish or altruistic.
 

This world is loaded with more of self-centered people, and short on self-less people. In one of the article, “Listen to Heart – Selflessness is its own Reward….” we discussed about Mother Teresa. I respect you (Mother) as a self-less person. Self-centered people haven’t learned how to be a friend, because they’ve probably never had a real friend before. You need to be that first real friend for them, if applicable. This role requires patience, a positive attitude and your own real friend. A real friend that you can look up to, someone you want to be more like and will give you good advice when you hit a wall with your self-centered friend. A real friend can be the teacher, Master, Parents and the best is the Lord who abodes in our heart and He is the controller of everything and everyone always.

“The Tale of My Heart is directed by Lord ~ in your light, I learn how to love, in your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest, where no one sees you.”


One should try to help a self-centered person. The following could be the means as read in an article which I would like to share so that we are available for if someone needs.

 

·        Identify the issue: What is your friend most self-centered about? What bothers you most about this friend?
·        Consider underlying problems: Your friend most likely behaves in selfish way. If you find yourself to be a good interpreter of behavior, try and understand why your friend may be acting so selfishly. If you can talk to your friend about this, you may be able to help him/her deal with the issue at hand.
·        Check yourself: We all have a tendency to be selfish in at least one area of our lives from time to time. Know which area(s) you struggle with. For example, if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and feel they should spend all their time with you, this is selfish. Avoid this area with your self-centered friend. If you both struggle with the same area, you can’t help them until you help yourself.
·        Create opportunities to spend time alone together: You can’t be of much help, or support, with a group of people around.
·        Listen more, speak less: Listen to what’s not being said. Ignore negative, noisy talk and recognize where their struggles are.
·        Encourage them: If money management is an area where they struggle, help them identify one area where they can improve upon their spending.
·        Check your progress: Pick up where you left off with your friend. How is the area of improvement going?
·        Recognize that if your friend is not trying to improve or change, you may need to end the friendship: Give it time, though; change is hard.
·        Talk to your friend: They may not even realize they're being self-centered. Tell them how they're making you feel, and they may stop.
·        If all else fails, either tell them you feel that you need a small break from each other: You may even start acting likewise so that they get a "taste of their own medicine", so to speak. This Last one can backfire!! Make sure you're annoying them, but don't let it get to your head. This can ruin the entire thing. It is really best for your relationship with your friend if you can be upfront with your own feelings.
·        Be super positive: They can and will kick you in the gut with hurtful words, so stay positive and hope it all ends with a snap of a finger.

 

·        If they just seem too mean and self-centered, maybe you should just ditch them: They might just be trying to drag you down! Fight back with positive-ness and never forget that other people matter too.

 


Sanjay said: Having spoken thus, Arjuna, chastiser of enemies, told Krishna, “Govinda, I shall not fight,” and fell silent. Hrsikesa is Krishna which means ‘Lord of the senses’. Gudakesa is Arjuna which means ‘the conqueror of sleep’ meaning ‘sleep of ignorance’. Dhritrashtra must have been very glad to understand that Arjuna was not going to fight and was instead leaving the battlefield for the begging profession. But Sanjay disappointed him again in relating that Arjuna was competent to kill his enemies (parantapah - which means destroyer of foes).

From now Arjuna starts getting into the phase of self-realization from self-centered. If a person is engaged in himself he starts moving towards self-centered state which is almost selfish in nature. He thinks about his interest. He starts loosing enthusiasm towards his work i.e. Karma. He gets emotional and gets entrapped in intellectual fatigue. In todays’ scenario of materialistic world we are all over shadowed. We develop nausea for karma. He generally prefers to give up our professionalism and think for pre-retirement and look for holidays and vacations. We join the club of the people who suffers from high Blood Pressure and Sugar and live on the medication and term ourselves as member of elite group of professional for false satisfaction. On the contrary, a person who works for noble cause and higher ideals remain ever enthusiastic and energetic. He reveals in what he does.

Although Arjuna was, for the time being, overwhelmed with false grief due to family affection, he surrendered unto Krishna, the supreme spiritual master, as a disciple. This indicated that he would soon be free from the false lamentation resulting from family affection and would be enlightened with perfect knowledge of self-realization, or Krishna consciousness, and would then surely fight. Thus Dhritrashtra’s joy would be frustrated, since Arjuna would be enlightened by Krishna and would fight to the end.

The philosophy of Gita helps Arjuna to lift himself from grief, depression and self-centered state to make him realize is karma i.e. his duty and responsibility. Krishna tells to work for selfless goal rather than ego and egocentric desires. Arjuna woke up and was ready to fight the battle as a Khashtriya. The wisdom of Gita can help anyone to overcome the challenges that meet one in life and create success both materially and spiritually.



All Glories to Lord Krishna & All His Loving Devotees….. Hari Bol……
Courtesy : Bhagavad-Gita As It Is (by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada ) ,  Srimad Bhagavad-Gita ( by A. Parthasarathy  & www.gitadaily.com ) Chapter 2 : Text 9 , www.google.com, Wikipedia

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