Hari Bol...
52. Listen to Heart – Love but Don’t be in Love…
‘Love’ - what a word! Love is a word which we all have heard and read. It is a word we all love to hear and read. Love is a word which is very lovable to all of us. We all love the word love. The form may be different. We all look to this word in a different way. This word is full of positive energy. Love is full of positive vibrations. Love drives you towards positive thoughts. Love is one of the strongest words for not only human beings but for all living beings.
Love is a word which is used in different context. Love has different feelings. It states interpersonal relationship. I love my mother and father – it is a love of respect. I love my brother and sister (i.e. love of affection). I love my clothes – it is a love of feel (i.e. feel-good, pleasure). I love my pet – it is a love of emotion. I had love at first sight (with a particular girl/boy) – it is a love of attraction. I love my car – it is a love of attachment. I love practicing alms giving – it is a love of kindness. The list can be endless…I would like to put Love as a feeling due to different state and attitude which ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure and kindness to compassion for non-living beings to living beings. Love is sometimes referred to as an "international language" that overrides cultural and linguistic divisions. Love is identified as;
· Kinship or familiarity
· Friendship
· Romantic
· Divine
Impersonal Love: A person can be said to love an object, an activity or goal. It is because he is deeply committed to it and has a great value; e.g. compassionate outreach and volunteer workers' ‘love’ of their cause may sometimes be born not of interpersonal love but impersonal love, strong spiritual or political convictions. People ‘love’ material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, then this feeling is called Paraphilia. It is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, or individuals.
Interpersonal Love: It refers to love between human beings. It is a much more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as ‘Erotomania’ - is a type of delusion in which the affected person believes that another person, usually a stranger, high-status or famous person, is in love with him or her.
With all respect to the Love, I would like to say that in today’s world the thought process has changed. I agree that that Change is the only constant in life which we have discussed in the article, ‘Listen to Heart – Change is the only Constant….’ All the changes are not for good. Some are for bad also. We need to identify those from our lives and work towards eliminating them else our lives and our future generation lives would be no-where. The word is being degraded now-a-days. It is losing its own respect. If the word Love is heard by today’s youngsters they start thinking and talking not about pure love from the heart but love making physically.
Making love is having sex. You do it because you’re turned on, because you really want to be with someone. And often you do it because you’re in love. It happens when someone has passionate sex with another person. A new relationship is often exhilarating, intense, and fun, but how do you make a new relationship turn to love - and last? Though it's not easy to make love last, the hard work you put in to the relationship will lead to a deep and meaningful connection that could last a lifetime. To make love last, you have to appreciate your loved one, support your loved one, and make time for love and romance.
The other day I suggested my friend’s cousin that as now you are settled you should start a new phase of life by getting married. He said, “Myself no chance! I do not want to get married and stuck with complexity of life. I do not want to take responsibility of the family (wife and kids). I am staying with my girl-friend”. His friend who was standing next to him said, “Why are you suggesting us wrong things. I am in living-in-relation with my girlfriend”. I was stunned. I did not speak any more and was forced to keep mum. The mindset is changing. This change is not for positive but for negative. The word Love means ‘Make Love’ for some our society. The mind is never a problem, it is the mindset.
The Love should be unbiased. If the Love is not unbiased then it is not love as love can never be biased. The term Unbiased love, is really interesting as we as human beings can never be simple. The word ‘love’ needs a modifier. As humans, it seems we apply our own personal bias to everything we see, hear, or do. We should urge ourselves against applying our personal bias to love, and in doing so, transform our attitude. As we reduce our biasness, we become better person and are able to open our hearts to a true and unbiased love. As we do that, subtle changes will occur in our attitudes, and we will indeed, be transformed. The biases we have against others, mostly based in fictions of our mind or our story, do nothing to help us, and only serve as a drag both to our own progress, as well as that of all of human-kind. It is difficult to become completely unbiased, as it is part of the human condition, but it is something on which we can make a little progress every day. With determination, we can become a better person; we can transform our attitude, as well as ourselves.
· “Unbiased love is undoubtedly difficult to generate, but if you practice with determination, day by day your attitude will be transformed” - Dalai Lama
Conditional Love: This is love that depends on what is received from the person the love is given to. For example, I will love you if....you are rich, if you have a great car, if you will not betray me, if you will not lie to me, if you have a great body. This love asks for something in return, it has a condition! As soon as *if* comes into the equation in whatever way. In this the love is 'earned' on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover. That is conditional love. This conditional love is same as materialistic love. It is because our soul has become impure.
Unconditional Love: This is love that is given without any *conditions*. This is love that has no limits or boundaries; it does not possess, or dictate. It is freely given without expectations of receiving in return. There is never an *if* in this equation. Normally this love is only truly perceived in the spiritual sense. Yet, it is not unheard of on earth. Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations. It can be also love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, complete love, or "mother's/father's love.” Love is "given freely" to the loved one "no matter what, where and who". Unconditional means making no discernments good or bad. The simplest and toughest and even easiest to understand as an example of unconditional love the best suited is always Mother’s Love.
There are so many religions and we all are busy fighting amongst ourselves. We do not know which the best religion is but we try to figure it out as per wish and ease. We even conclude that all are good. We have conflicting doctrines with different deities and various approaches to attaining salvation. We need to think ways to narrow down the search. What if we could find a religion that seems to match the kind of unconditional love that mothers have for their children? This would show a vital connection between us and our Creator. And besides, what greater characteristic could God have than love? A common thread of unconditional love is humanity. It transcends race and religion....and it has to do with mothers. Most mothers have an undying and unconditional love for their children. That's not to say that many fathers don't as well, but the love of a mother is truly something beautiful to behold. It is in the mother/child relationship that I see a universal clue. We should discover the love that our heart longs for not only from our mother, but also from my Creator. The word Mother stands for;
M – for the MILLION things she gave me
O – for she’s growing OLD
T – for the TEARS she shed to save me
H – for her HEART of purest gold
E – for her EYES, with love-light shining
R – for she is always RIGHT and always be.
In Christianity, the term "unconditional love" may be used to indicate God's love for a person irrespective of that person's love for God. The term is not explicitly used in the Bible and advocates for God's conditional or unconditional love, using different passages or interpretations to support their point of view, are both encountered. In Hinduism and Buddhism, the Sanskrit word Bhakti is apparently used by some to refer to the concept of unconditional love, even though it's root meaning seems to be "participating". Bhakti is unconditional religious devotion of a devotee in worship of a divine.
I would like to mention about one uncle of mine. We all brother and sisters used to lovingly call him ‘Bhaeji’. He was a cousin of my father. He was not his first cousin. He used to stay with my grandfather right from his childhood. He was much older to my father. In fact my father had also played in his lap during his childhood. By relation we have seen that he was far of relative (as per today’s terminology) but he was my family member. He was closer to all my family members more than, may be; we were close. He played a very pivot role. We all respected him from bottom of our heart. The day started and ended with word ‘Bhaeji’. We used play with him, eat with him, talk to him the whole day was Bhaeji and only Bhaeji. He used to take us to the temple every day. We as kids were excited to go to temple as we loved to play the temple bells and get Prasadam (Mishri). He made us realize that Lord is there who governs the whole universe. The temple our village is of Radhe Krishna, Shivji, Ganpati, Mata Parvati, Bajrangbali, etc. Now I realize the seeds which he sowed in us during our childhood; it is only due him we are trying to practice humanity. He taught us to be human. He loved us more than he loved himself. We all really miss him. I would like to pray to the All Mighty for his soul to be in peace. I would like to thank him for whatever I am. We Love you Bhaeji.
Love should be only love and not in-love. Love should be with all and in-love should be with none. We should not be in-love with any living and non-living. It should not be with environment and climate. Lord loves all of us. Lord is never in love with us. According to our karmic account He gives us pleasure and pain. If one wants to be in-love, one should only be in-love with the Lord. We should love and be in-love so much so in return the Lord not only loves us but He should be in-love with us. The Lord is our father, mother, brother, sister, friend and rest I leave to you all to add on to the list. The Lord is only and only with us always as we are aware that Krishna abodes in our heart. So if are in-love with Atman then we could get linked with Parmatama. I would even agree that writing could be much easier than doing. It is a journey which has to go on and on. We need to keep our soul pure. The first rule is that we should practice Humanity as the Lord has sent us in the form of human beings. The simplest way is to chant. So practice chanting.
“Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Ram Hare Ram, Ram Ram Hare Hare…..”
Arjuna receives knowledge from Krishna, “Those who are seers of the truth have concluded that of the nonexistent (the material body) there is no endurance and of the eternal (the soul) there is no change. This they have concluded by studying the nature of both.”
Krishna told Arjuna to know the truth. One should have no attachment of love. One should be detached. If a person is detached he is not in-love. One should only love his Karma. So Arjuna karma as Khashtriya is to fight in the battlefield. This is the beginning of the instruction by the Lord to the living entities who are bewildered by the influence of ignorance. Removal of ignorance involves the reestablishment of the eternal relationship between the worshiper and the worship-able and the consequent understanding of the difference between the part-and-parcel living entities and the Supreme Personality of Godhead. One can understand the nature of the Supreme by thorough study of oneself, the difference between oneself and the Supreme-Being understood as the relationship between the part and the whole. In the Vedanta-sutras, as well as in the Srimad Bhagavatam, the Supreme has been accepted as the origin of all emanations. Such emanations are experienced by superior and inferior natural sequences. The living entities belong to the superior nature, as it will be revealed in the Seventh Chapter. Although there is no difference between the energy and the energetic, the energetic is accepted as the Supreme, and energy or nature is accepted as the subordinate. The living entities, therefore, are always subordinate to the Supreme Lord, as in the case of the master and the servant, or the teacher and the taught. Such clear knowledge is impossible to understand under the spell of ignorance, and to drive away such ignorance the Lord teaches the Bhagavad-Gita for the enlightenment of all living entities for all time.
All Glories to Lord Krishna & All His Loving Devotees….. Hari Bol……
Courtesy: Bhagavad-Gita As It Is (by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada ) , Srimad Bhagavad-Gita ( by A. Parthasarathy & www.gitadaily.com ) Chapter :2 Text 16 , www.google.com, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconditional_love, www.krishna.com, www.krishna.org, en.wikipedia.org, www.glossary.com, http://philosiblog.com/2012/05/27/unbiased-love-is-undoubtedly-difficult-to-generate-but-if-you-practice-with-determination-day-by-day-your-attitude-will-be-transformed, http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_difference_between_conditional_love_and_unconditional_love, http://www.christianpost.com/news/the-unconditional-love-of-mothers-deciphers-religion-86348
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