Hari Bol....
29. Listen to Heart – Take grief to grave before grief takes you to grave…..
Grief is a feeling due to emotions. It is a response to any loss. The loss could be of materialistic and non-materialistic. The emotion arises due to ‘Moh and Maya’. It is ‘maya’ which increases the bonding. Grief is response to emotional loss mainly but it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the reaction to loss. Generally the grief is associated with death for most people, but individuals grieve in connection with a variety of losses throughout their lives, such as unemployment, ill health or the end of a relationship. Loss can be categorized as either physical or abstract.
Grief is deep mental anguish that arises from bereavement. It leads to annoyance and frustration. It exaggerates the trouble and difficulty. It gives rise to deep intense sorrow and distress. It is due to mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss, deep sorrow. The synonym of Grief is anguish, heartache, woe, misery, sadness, melancholy, moroseness and antonym is Joy. Grief is negative which creates and generates the negatives thoughts and surrounds a person in a negative atmosphere. One has to look into different ways to drive the grief to save himself else the grief can take a person to the grave. So control the grief before it controls you and drive away grief to get relief. The life is about not knowing, ready to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what is going to happen next. One should be ready to change always as Change is the only constant in Life. The Soul also changes the body by getting into another body and leaving the previous body.
· Grief is to man as certain as the grave - George Crabbe
· Griefless as a rich man’s funeral - Sidney Dobell
· Woman’s grief is like a summer storm, short as it is violent - Joanna Bailie
Crying is a normal and natural part of grieving. Crying and talking about the loss is not the only healthy response and, if forced or excessive, can be harmful Responses or actions in the affected person, called “coping ugly” by researcher George Bonanno, may seem counter-intuitive or even appear dysfunctional, e.g., celebratory responses, laughter, or self-serving bias in interpreting events. Lack of crying is also a natural, healthy reaction, potentially protective of the individual, and may also be seen as a sign of resilience. Science has found that some healthy people who are grieving do not spontaneously talk about the loss. Pressing people to cry or retell the experience of a loss can be harmful. Genuine laughter is healthy.
Berger identifies five ways of grieving;
1. Nomads: Nomads have not yet resolved their grief and do not seem to understand the loss that has affected their lives.
2. Memorialists: This identity is committed to preserving the memory of the loved one that they have lost.
3. Normalizers: This identity is committed to re-creating a sense of family and community.
4. Activists: This identity focuses on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease or with the same issues that caused their loved one’s death.
5. Seekers: This identity will adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in their lives.
As a normal part of life, carries a degree of risk when grief is severe. Severe reactions affect approximately 10% to 15% of people. Severe reactions mainly occur in people with depression present before the loss event. Severe grief reactions may carry over into family relations. It has been found an increased risk of marital breakup following the death of a child, for example. Many studies have looked at the bereaved in terms of increased risks for stress-related illnesses. Colin Murray Parkes in the 1960s and 1970s in England noted increased doctor visits, with symptoms such as abdominal pain, breathing difficulties, and so forth in the first six months following a death. Others have noted increased mortality rates (Ward, A.W. 1976) and Bunch et al. found a five times greater risk of suicide in teens following the death of a parent.
I was walking towards station with one of my friend. I was enjoying the walk with as usual gossip. On the way I could find few friends of my colleague (daily passers). They wished each other “Good Morning “and kept on moving. Few even crossed us by just tapping on the back by saying “hey rush …. “. We started jogging. Reached the station could just managed to get into the rush where someone extended his hand and pulled us. “Ooohfff….” I said “we just managed it “. This was the experience every day for us and I used to say “we just managed it “. It just went on & on. One day as I reached the platform I could see the train was moving with the speed at which it was not possible to get into as it was unsafe. I said “Oohhh…. Shit, we missed it “. We were taking long breadth & trying to be normal. We saw there was a display of the next train timing. By the time the train reached the platform we could almost come to the normal. We were happy. We bored the train easily, got in the middle of the compartment so we were safe. We said “we managed it “. The life was going on this way. We were in grief as this was happening every day. This travel was giving us pain which made our travel an irritating one. One day we planned to be ready 15 minutes before the usual timing and so we were walking, decided not to take any unsafe steps, reached the platform waited for 7-10 minutes. The train arrived & we boarded the compartment safely & the journey was enjoyable. We realized that we have a train after every 10 minutes approximately so we are not late rather we are early for the train. By this I realized how I made my life complex and lived in grief.
People are in grief about different religion and its practices. We should all have high respect for are traditions. All these leads to communalism difference even to its extreme. We should respect all religion, tradition; its preaching’s and practices. All teaches us the humanity. When we have the occasion to be present at the place of worship of other religionists at the time of their worship, we should stay there in a respectful manner and mood; contemplating thus; Here is being worshiped my adorable highest entity God, in a different form than that of mine. Due to different practice of different kind, I cannot thoroughly comprehend this system of theirs. But seeing it, I am feeling a greater attachment for my own system. God is one. I bow down before His emblem as I see here and offer my prayer to my Lord who has adopted this different emblem so that He may increase my love toward Him in the form that is acceptable for me.
To avoid Grief – “Change yourself rather changing others….” To get relief from any grief, the simplest way is to chant. Practice chanting…The holy name is so powerful that even by chanting with offense, gradually he becomes pure. Therefore we should not give up chanting. Under any circumstances, we should chant –
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Ram Hare Ram, Ram Ram Hare Hare …..
Whenever we meet someone do pay respect and greet; be him / her to be elder to you or younger to you, senior to you or junior to you…..as we all are soul, so pay respect to the all souls around you as souls are Krishna, so pay respect to our dear Krishna and remember Krishna always so greet them;
Hari Bol....
Hare Krishna….
Radhe Radhe….
Jai Sri Krishna…
Jai Sri Ram…..
Ram Ram…
Krishna Krishna….
& So on (as you wish)….
Arjuna said to Krishna in the battlefield that I can find no means to drive away this grief which is drying up my senses. I will not be able to dispel it even if I win a prosperous, unrivaled kingdom on earth with sovereignty like the demigods in heaven.
Arjuna was giving different arguments for not fighting the battle but he was unable to resolve his real problem. Arjuna realized he needs help from his spiritual master. Arjuna could understand that his so-called knowledge was useless in driving away his problems, which were drying up his whole existence; and it was impossible for him to solve such perplexities without the help of a spiritual master like Lord Krishna. Arjuna surrenders himself to Krishna. Arjuna cannot see how such a burning grief can be appeased. Arjuna starts believing that even unrivalled sovereignty over the earth and lordship over the God in heaven cannot quench the inferno raging within him.
If a person has been overpowered by emotions he goes into the state of depression and feels helpless as his energy is reduced. Arjuna had reached to the state of depression and helplessness. He was blessed with message of Gita by his master Krishna.
Academic knowledge, scholarship, high position, etc., are all useless in solving the problems of life; help can be given only by a spiritual master like Krishna. Therefore, the conclusion is that a spiritual master who is one hundred percent Krishna conscious is the bona fide spiritual master, for he can solve the problems of life. Lord Caitanya said that one who is master in the science of Krishna consciousness, regardless of his social position, is the real spiritual master.
It does not matter whether a person is a learned person, is born in a lower family or in a higher family or is in the renounced order of life. If he is master in the science of Krishna, he is the perfect and bona fide spiritual master. So without being a master in the science of Krishna consciousness, no one is a bona fide spiritual master. It is also said in Vedic literature:
sat-karma nipuno vipro
mantra-tantra vaisaradah
avaisnavo gurur na syad
vaishanav sava-paco guruh
A scholarly brahmana, expert in all subjects of Vedic knowledge, is unfit to become a spiritual master without being a Vaishnava, or expert in the science of Krishna consciousness. But a person born in a family of a lower caste can become a spiritual master if he is a Vaishnava, or Krishna conscious.
If economic development and material comforts could drive away one’s Lamentations for family, social, national or international inebrieties, then Arjuna would not have said that even an unrivaled kingdom on earth or Supremacy like that of the demigods in the heavenly planets would be unable to drive away his lamentations. He sought, therefore, refuge in Krishna consciousness, and that is the right path for peace and harmony. Economic development or supremacy over the world can be finished at any moment by the cataclysms of material nature. Even elevation into a higher planetary situation, as men are now seeking on the moon planet, can also be finished at one stroke. The Bhagavad-Gita confirms that when the results of pious activities are finished, one falls down again from the peak of happiness to the lowest status of life. There are many examples in the world; who have fallen down in that way. Such downfalls only constitute more causes for lamentation.
All Glories to Lord Krishna & All His Loving Devotees….. Hari Bol……
Courtesy : Bhagavad-Gita As It Is (by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada ) , Srimad Bhagavad-Gita ( by A. Parthasarathy & www.gitadaily.com ) Chapter 2 : Text 8, www.google.com, Wikipedia
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